GOBSMACKED BY QUID PRO QUO AND THE HAIRDRESSER

Ginny Hogan, author of ‘I’m More Dateable than a Plate of Refried Beans,’ writes in her The New Yorker essay, “We don’t even let the person with the most votes win the actual presidential election, so why would a poll matter?” She doesn’t trust polls because Trump is up and then Biden is up, with poll numbers shifting constantly, and if ABC knows something CNN doesn’t, then shouldn’t they share? She says she once conducted her own poll, asking three close friends if she should have her hairdresser give her bangs…even though she has a square face. Even the stylist thought it a bad idea but she trusted polling results of her friends. Of political polls she feels that if the results of an election are predicted in the poll, why should she vote? It’s a waste of her time, and if Taylor Swift isn’t included, why is it a ‘representative poll?’ Why are ‘only‘ five thousand people sampled when more than five thousand vote in the election? So, she doesn’t trust polls, and since her hair was already thin, why did she waste having some hang over her face? Plus, her husband left her…after two years, but it had to be related to the bangs. And, if pollsters are smart enough to predict the future, why are they working in politics…shouldn’t they be retired? It’s creepy enough that samples are taken from people who answer calls from unknown phone numbers. With a margin of error of five percent, polls are usually wrong…why not call it the ‘margin of correctness?’ And, why does ‘poll’ have two ‘L’s, being redundant? Ginny concludes that she is lonely, and getting bangs again may be the solution.

The Nation.weekly says, “The biggest mistake that politicians and pundits make when they try to discern the direction of a presidential race is that they read a single poll and think it’s definitional. But ‘of the 10 most recent polls listed on Real Clear Politics, as of December 29, Biden was leading in three of them and tied in two others,” as reported by national affairs correspondent John Nichols. He maintains there is no reason to celebrate yet, “but if the incumbent continues to focus on the economy and other issues people care about right now, there’s a compelling case Biden’s polling position will improve as the 2024 race unfolds.” Cross your fingers and don’t see your hairdresser just yet!

The former prez continues to post ridiculous videos provided him via his Truth Social media platform and a recent one is certainly cringeworthy, with voiceover proclaiming: “And on June 14th, 1946, God looked down on his plan Paradise, and said, ‘I need a caretaker.’ So, God gave us Trump.” Did your knees simply give out, or did you fall into place of your own accord? Trump is claiming in his emailed fundraisers that Barack Obama admits Biden will be defeated in ’24, and is therefore stepping up to sabotage the GOP by urging Democrats to register as Republicans so they can cast votes for a RINO who will “get eaten alive by the Democrat Deep State.” However, it seems that any heads-up RINOs have long ago registered as Democrats or Independents.

Trump’s attorney, Alina Habba, on Fox’s Sean Hannity show, discussing the banning of the former prez’s name from ballots in Maine and Colorado, actually said it out loud: “I think it should be a slam dunk in the Supreme Court. I have faith in them. You know people like Kavanaugh – who the president fought for, who the president went through hell to get into place – he’ll step up. Those people will step up. Not because they’re pro-Trump, but because they’re pro-law. Because they’re pro-fairness, and the law on this is very clear.” So, there you have it – the quid pro quo. Alina wants everyone to also be aware that her attractiveness is of utmost importance…she can “fake being smart.” On the PBD Podcast hosted by Bryan Cullen, she said, “I don’t think I’d be on TV or sitting here if I didn’t look the way I look. It doesn’t hurt to be good looking.” Cullen commented on why an ‘alpha male’ like Trump would pick her for his $250M fraud case, saying, “He picks a smart, feminine, capable woman.” Habba readily agreed with, “Right.” Xwitter responses were quick to jump into the discussion. “Legally Bland,” said Anthony LoPresti. “Sound legal strategy from Trump,” replied @PatriotTakes. Clay Moser advised Habba to “…start at least faking she’s smart.” And, Chris Herbst paraphrased an old chestnut, “Basically, I’m not a good lawyer, but I play one on TV.” Unknown is whether she likes beer…leave that to Kavanaugh to determine. Clay Bennett’s cartoon depicting a Decision 2024 voting ballot with check boxes for ‘Trump‘ and ‘Or Else‘ seems appropriate here.

Another cartoon worth a mention is one in The Economist portraying the GOP/MAGA elephant presenting Trump with a congratulatory third anniversary Insurrection cake, and asking if he cares to share any thoughts. His reply: “Practice makes perfect.” A Marjorie Taylor Greene book-signing/meet-and-greet planned to take place at The Westgate Resorts in Kissimmee, Florida was cancelled by the resort management when it was found that the event was in reality a commemoration of the third anniversary of the J6 Insurrection. The local Republicans had scheduled it as a book-signing, but the ownership got wind of the intent and simply pulled the plug on it, saying, “Please be advised that Westgate was not made aware of the purpose of this event…[it is] being cancelled and is no longer taking place at our resort.” The Greene camp had no comment, after NBC obtained an invitation billing the happening as an ‘exclusive’ commemoration of the J6 riot, with tickets costing attendees between $45 and $1,000. Democratic state Representative Anna Eskamani deadpanned, “Just another day in Florida. Was really hoping this was a joke when I first saw it.”

Activist and film maker, Michael Moore as well as others, propose that we get involved in promoting commemoration of January 6 as a national holiday, calling it ‘Democracy Day.’ Otherwise, that date is going to be taken over by the MAGA crowd as ‘Saint Donald Trump Day,’ when we will hear nothing but lies, slander, name calling, and whining about a stolen election…and who knows if the Confederate flag will make also make another appearance in the halls of the Capitol building? Plus the resurrection of the Mike Pence Commemorative Gallows? Michael feels this is a day in infamy when we almost lost our democracy, that it should never be forgotten, passing it down to future generations to renew our commitment to liberty, freedom, equality and solidarity. He says, “The Vote is precious, a necessity to create and fulfill the promise of a democracy – and why we must always defend it against any and all enemies, foreign and domestic. Especially domestic!” We should all agree with him, that we are worth it.

Ron DeSantis and Nikki Haley are increasing their attacks on Trump in the countdown to the GOP caucuses in Iowa, vying for a distant second place behind Toupee Orange and paying less attention to each other. Their hesitancy to go after Trump in their campaigns, beyond criticism for being a no-show at debates, seems faint-hearted at this late date. DeSantis has jumped on Trump for being a flip-flopper, and not following through with promises, and that he carries too much baggage to be a winner. Haley has repeated that Trump was the “right president at the right time, but chaos follows him. And we can’t have a country in disarray and a world on fire and go through four more years of chaos. We won’t survive it.” She feels she is the strongest candidate to face Biden, that the country doesn’t need “another nail-biter of an election” as polls now indicate for a Trump/Biden matchup. Neither candidate has been critical of Trump’s conduct relating to his four indictments, only noting that the charges could bite him in the general election…weeks too late?

Observers believe DeSantis sees Iowa as his last stand, as he has shifted staff to Iowa and increased spending, going all-in for the state. Republican strategist, Ron Bonjean, asks, “Where was this focus months ago? In order to get noticed you’ve got to take on the front-runner, and you’ve got to do it progressively.”  He claims former New Jersey Governor Christie’s approach turned off many GOP primary voters, a backfire from focusing too much at once. Republican strategist, Brian Seitchik says the attacks by Haley and DeSantis are “too little, too late. Trump-lite won’t work…if you want to be king, you’ve got to beat the king.” Seitchik says if Haley can claim second in Iowa and win New Hampshire, “We have a legitimate race.”  Waiting for Trump to implode hasn’t happened, therefore the strategy of avoiding confrontation of Trump was impractical. “If the strategy is playing for 2028, or playing for VP, or playing for a Cabinet position, that’s understandable, but if you got into this race 12 months ago with the intention of winning, you had to go after Trump,” Seitchik maintains.

Bocha Blue, in his The Palmer Report post says, “The Clueless Haley, from the beginning had no chance. The only reason for the attention is because the media love a good horse-race, and let’s face it, there ARE NOT good quality Republican candidates to prop up. They tried Ron DeSantis and we saw how that turned out, so let’s try Haley. That move precipitated the deer-in-the-headlights moment when asked about the Civil War.” So what does she do, trying to do damage control over several days? She went T-H-E-R-E! She says to Erin Burnett, “I had Black friends growing up.” Xwitter exploded with: “Is she trying to lose?”, “Girlfriend, you have truly hit rock bottom.”, “Hot damn, she’s a fool.” Blue asks, “Is she subconsciously sabotaging herself, or is she really that clueless?”

Aldous J. Pennyfarthing says, “Vultures have been circling the Florida governor’s purpling presidential corpse for some time now, and for good reason. He’s had trouble connecting with voters, looking like he learned to smile by watching circus chimpanzees getting their backs waxed. He has the charisma of a falafel and none of the spice. His laugh sounds like a 99¢ ringtone with a corrupted file. His top opponent is Donald Trump, an alleged criminal, and that’s a tough hill for any challenger.” The DeSantis campaign and super PAC have spent more than $160M, and spent the better part of 2023 on the road. But, he now says, it may not have been enough to overcome the advantage he believes Trump received from getting indicted four times. “If I could have one thing changed, I wish Trump hadn’t been indicted on any of this stuff. It sucked out a lot of oxygen,” DeSantis told the Christian Broadcasting Network. One DeSantis supporter and donor felt the race was over after the first Trump indictment. Because Republican voters aren’t the most discerning, the perception that he is being unfairly persecuted is a badge of honor for him, rather than a vulnerability which is where DeSantis should have gone, rather than attack Hunter Biden with his fake outrage…duh! So DeSantis was carrying Trump’s water when he should have been waterboarding him the whole time.

Former Florida congressman, David Jolly, says of DeSantis, “He started the primary on third base, then stole second. We’ve now witnessed one of the most expensive and embarrassing collapses in Republican history.” Trying to out-Trump Trump was a fatal strategic choice, since he was polling better before he began his campaign…then the voters saw him as he really is. “The idea of a DeSantis was appealing, but the reality of the DeSantis was repellant, “ says Mac Stipanovich, a Florida politics veteran, to HuffPost. “It is telling that his favorite president is Calvin Coolidge, the avatar of anti-charisma in politics.” The Heritage Foundation said of the Republican National Convention of 1924, “It’s generally remembered as the most uninteresting convention in Republican history. Delegates didn’t bother showing up at many of the sessions. The most popular drink was a Keep-Cool-With-Coolidge highball, composed of raw eggs and fruit juice. Will Rogers suggested that the city of Cleveland ‘open up the churches to liven things up a bit.'” But this is a reminder that politics, in the end, is not about drama but about principle, not about charisma but about character. All this was said BEFORE Coolidge was described as ‘the most articulate conservative who ever served as president.’

As for DeSantis, Steve Duprey, a former Republican National Committee member told HuffPost, “When you come across as a mean person who shows little empathy for the real concerns for citizens, and who always wants to make sure everyone in the room knows you think you are the smartest person there, it doesn’t go over all that well. Focusing on Disney, wokeness, a little hippie college in Sarasota, and an abortion ban out of sync with most of America, instead of the economy, the debt, the border, isn’t a winning formula…other than that, he’s nailing it.” Another anonymous Florida Republican offered, “Who was he? Was he for Trump? Was he against Trump? Was he courting Trump voters? Is he more practical, sensible? Or is he a right-wing nut? I don’t know. But he’s just not likable.” DeSantis’ ‘Make America Florida’ project as a model of right-wing governance was only destined to flame out, never translating to the campaign trail, where he was forced to interact with real people with real concerns. “To me he never looked happy,” an Iowa political operative said. So the biggest obstacle for DeSantis was himself. Pennyfarthing concludes, “Sadly, for Floridians, once he ends his campaign for the White House, he will go back to Florida.”

Perhaps poor Ron can take some solace from this Ariel Elias haiku:

I’ve said it before.
And I will say it again.
I’ve said it before.