AN AMBUSH, KICKING THE DOG, KICKING THE CAN, NO-NO-NOBEL

The world is still reeling from the embarrassing Oval Office clash between Presidents Trump and Zelensky, and Vice-Intruder Vance last week. A much-anticipated agreement with the USA to move toward a settlement between Ukraine and Russia to resolve Putin’s ongoing three-year attempt to rejoin Zelensky’s country into the Russian fold was simply a shameful ambush by the White House. As Sabrina Haake writes in her column, “The flip side to shame is revulsion. Watching Trump and Vance kick Zelensky for the cameras was like watching a neighbor starve his dog, then kick it for looking at his food bowl.” Haake says watching Trump’s and Vance’s attempts to pressure the Ukraine president into surrendering to Putin made her sick with shame, since they wanted him “to agree to a ceasefire with no security guarantees and to ‘trust’ Putin to honor his word.” The 2014 invasion of Crimea and the 2022 invasion of Ukraine, coupled with Putin’s murdered critics (watch out for that open window!) and disappeared rivals emphasizes to Zelensky that Putin is unrelenting in his quest. Our two ‘leaders’ accused Zelensky of “being disrespectful” and “trying to re-litigate” the morals of the war for the press and the cameras — all arranged by Trump for his anticipated glory and that now-trampled Nobel Peace Prize.

Norwegian parliamentarian Christian Tybring-Gjedde is quoted as saying that Trump’s dictatorial bullying doesn’t qualify as a diplomatic outreach that warrants a third nomination to follow the two that we saw in his first term. “He is dictating terms that the Europeans are very scared of and are really worried about what’s going to come of this. Right now, I don’t think there’s a prospect of a Nobel Peace Prize. But you never know,” said Tybring-Gjedde. The dark and foreboding browbeating heaped upon Zelensky for not saying ‘thank-you’ enough times for US firepower used against Putin’s invasion, has spoiled Trump’s pledge to “end the war on day one.” It’s obvious that Trump’s whining over the lack of the Nobel on his résumé remains a sore point, as he responded to a reporter’s question during a press conference recently: “They will never give me a Nobel Peace Prize. It’s too bad. I deserve it, but they will never give it to me.” National security advisor Mike Waltz, and Representative Elise Stefanik, both told conservatives that Trump is a “president of peace” who deserves the award. Yet, fears have now risen that the president will use his dominance to end the war on Russian terms, with his rhetoric having grown more hostile to Ukraine over the past few weeks — calling Zelensky a “dictator” and accusing Ukraine of being the aggressor.

Sitting next to Trump, with arms folded, Zelensky was scolded like a disobedient schoolboy, bombarded by Vance’s accusation, “Have you said ‘thank-you’ once in the entire meeting?” Following the cancelled meeting, after Zelensky was unceremoniously escorted to his limo, and without having to delve into suppressed files, CNN posted thirty-three occasions in which Zelensky expressed his gratitude, one before a joint session of the US Congress in 2022 — a more comprehensive search would certainly have doubled, tripled that number. Attempting to one-up Vance, a testy Trump then said, “You’re either going to make a deal or we’re out. And if we’re out, you’ll fight it out. I don’t think that’s going to be pretty, but you’ll fight it out. But you don’t have the cards.” Mafioso Trump seemed to forget that he was in the Oval Office as he went into presidential campaign mode, talking about the “phony witch hunt” he endured regarding Russia’s 2016 election meddling. “Let me tell you, Putin went through a hell of a lot with me,” Trump whined. MSNBC’s Nicole Wallace responded to this diatribe with a twisted-face “Awww….” as if to say, “Isn’t that sweet?” After the Ukraine president had left the building, Trump announced he was not welcome back, until he is “ready for peace.” Or until Trump is seriously ready to compete for that Nobel. Should he forge an agreement favorable to Russia and leave Europe vulnerable to an aggressive Putin, Trump doesn’t ‘have the cards’ in his quest, since the Nobel selection committee is appointed by the Norwegian parliament, leaders of a country nestled next to an expansionist Russia. Trump is still obsessed over Barack Obama’s Nobel Prize which he was awarded nine months into his presidency, and in 2018 expressed dismay that plant scientist Norman Borlaug won for helping to combat global famine: “Can you believe it? He won the Nobel Peace Prize!” Yeah! So take that, USAID!

The Oval Office conflagration with the demand that Zelensky bend the knee and kiss the ring was off to a bad start even before the televised blowup, after Zelensky was presented with a minerals-for-security agreement by the White House — with no security deal guaranteeing protection from Russian aggression. Ukraine’s president, prior to his trip to DC, had repeatedly specified that security assurances would need to be included, and with his rejection during final discussions, the anger of Trump and Vance spewed out in the subsequent pathetic meeting with the media. Columnist Phil Boas of The Arizona Republic likened the spectacle to “a food fight with petty insults, imbecilic logic, the barking immaturity that is the vernacular of loudmouths and incels, and cosplaying freaks who occupy so much of the social web. Gone were diplomacy and decorum as the world watched with mouths agape, trying to process the consequences. And how long can the Trump administration walk this tightrope, this knife’s blade to restore what it calls American greatness? When you blow past old rules of conduct, through longstanding guardrails, you may think you’re making progress, but you are surely wreaking your own destruction. If you don’t respect boundaries, your political foes won’t either. They’ll come at you, and with fury.” Boas calls Trump an agent of destruction, who currently finds it rough-sledding in his attempt to follow through on campaign promises; Americans sought change in the November election, but the roller coaster is out of control and if the president and his mob don’t slow it, the American people will — and sooner than the next election.

Bill Maher on HBO’s ‘Real Time’ was visibly outraged about the treatment of Zelensky by the Trump White House, dejectedly joking, “Great day to be an American. My first thought is that he’s browbeating a guy who speaks English as a second language. So we’re all agreed this is deplorable. I’ve tried not to use the word deplorable as much as I can, but when it’s deplorable, it’s deplorable.” World leaders, politicos and average Americans on social media posts agreed that the Zelensky takedown was lacking in the decorum expected of a sensible and reliable USA. Maher’s guest, Fareed Zakaria, called it “tragic” to see an American president “bully, berate” and “demean” a nation’s leader “who depends on the US for its survival” — before giving a cheeky suggestion to Zelensky. Zakaria joked, “The way to have gone in there, is first, you begin by saying, ‘President Trump, you are a genius. You have completely transformed the landscape. I have with me the highest order of merit — Ukraine has never created a civilian honor this big — for you.’ You have a big medal, put it on him, then say to him, ‘I look forward to working with you.'” John Stoehr, of The Editorial Board, an online newspaper, writes, “I think it’s emblematic of the fact that Donald Trump surrounds himself with grown men who are willing to act like little boys if that’s what it takes to make Big Daddy happy.”

The Trump/Vance performance took place just in time for NBC’s ‘Saturday Night Live’ to take full advantage for a cold open to the show last week. James Austin Johnson as Trump opened the sketch with, “I’d like to welcome President Zelensky to this incredible trap.” Referring to Zelensky’s casual attire, which Trump called attention to as soon as Ukraine’s president stepped out of the limousine, Johnson’s Trump complimented Mikey Day as Zelensky: “I’d like to thank President Zelensky for dressing like casual Star Trek. We love Star Trek because there’s no DEI. The white guy was the leader and he bossed around Spock who was, I believe, Guatemalan.” Mikey Day portraying Zelensky, was unable to speak any lines within the shouting match, being interrupted by Bowen Yang’s JD Vance as soon as he opened his mouth to enter the ‘conversation.’ “I have to jump in here because that’s how we planned this. You didn’t say ‘thank-you.’ You didn’t say anything about us being handsome,” and interrupting Day’s Zelensky again, says, “You have been talking this entire time. I’m sorry, does the sign outside say ‘Ukraine House’? No, it says ‘America House.'” The SNL couch potato portraying a wide-eyed Secretary of State, ‘Little’ Marco Rubio, only sunk deeper into the cushions, muttering, “No Inglés!”  Johnson’s Trump threw out the “I have the cards” line from the embarrassing Oval Office display: “You say you want to end this war, but frankly you don’t have the cards. I have the cards. I have ‘Skip’. I have ‘Draw Four’. I have ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ — the Supreme Court gave me that one.” Comedian Mike Myers crashed the meeting as Elon Musk, chain saw, black t-shirt and mannerisms that were accurate in depicting the real DOGE terrorist. Myers/Musk asks Johnson/Trump, “Uh, Donald, what are you doing in my office? You know I’m president now. I’m kidding! I’m kidding. Maybe not!” He joked about the scores of firings accomplished through DOGE actions: “They’re saying I’m firing people with no cause. But I do have cause. It’s ’cause I feel like it.” Reality bites!

Satirist Andy Borowitz reports that Zelensky is bowing to Trump’s demand to call for an immediate election with the condition that it be held in the USA and he be allowed to run for president. “For almost 250 years, the USA has been a beacon of democracy and freedom,” he said. “It should have a president who respects those ideas, and I will gladly relocate from Ukraine to do the job.” He was optimistic about his chances of defeating Trump, adding, “I have heard his approval rating is 4 percent, and most of that comes from Elon Musk’s children.”

Elon Musk’s DOGE army of college dropout hackers, termed the Nerd Reich by federal workers, are using threats and intimidation to gain access to governmental departments and the sensitive data trove in order to gut essential government services, eliminate regulators, a dismantling meant to reshape the federal workforce to serve Trump’s interests and those of his wealthy contributors. One official laments, “I can’t believe this is how they’re blowing up the Constitution — this little nerd army — God help us.” ‘Tonight Show‘ host Jimmy Fallon mocked Musk’s directive to have US federal workers list and submit five things they’ve done in the past week to justify holding their jobs or face termination — for which Musk has no official authority. Workers were dismayed and angry, mostly for getting a work email on a Saturday, joked Fallon, but he had a response for those who dared: “1) I received this email, 2) I opened this email, 3) I read this email, 4) I laughed at this email, 5) I deleted this email. There’s five,” said Fallon, “It’s hard to take seriously when rules from ‘Cinderella’ are being stolen,” as he referred to the 11:59 PM deadline for a response. Social media also gathered a few contributors: 1) Woke up, 2) Got out of bed, 3) Dragged a comb across my head, 4) Found my way downstairs and drank a cup, 5) Looking up, I noticed I was late. Another had a suggestion that would suffice for several weeks of reporting: 1) Put your right arm in, 2) Take your right arm out, 3) Put your right arm in and you shake it all about, 4) Do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around, 5) That’s what it’s all about. Trump is known for attempting to insult Obama by insisting he was born in Africa simply to diminish his standing in the eyes of his base-in-waiting — now he has Elon, who was actually born in Africa, ruining the country for him.

The White House said that Cabinet secretaries could have the final word on whether employees must respond with their week’s accomplishments, as stated by press secretary Karoline Leavitt. Leavitt said, “The president defers to his Cabinet secretaries who he’s obviously entrusted to pursue the guidance relative to their specific workforce. And for some of the agencies that you’ve seen that have said ‘please don’t send these emails,’ it’s in their best interest for that specific agency, and the president supports that.” She added that over one million responses had been received, “to insure that federal workers are not ripping off American taxpayers, that they are showing up to the office and that they are doing their jobs.” The Office of Personnel Management (OPM) informed Cabinet heads that response to Musk’s edict is voluntary and failure to do so will not be considered a resignation — that threat not appearing in the email, but given voice by President Musk. New FBI Director Kash Patel said, “When and if further information is required, we will coordinate the responses. For now, pause any responses.” Predictable mass chaos reigned as Johnny-Come-Lately Trump arrived on the scene to praise Musk’s email — in order to gather details on employee accomplishments, and to find if employees even exist who are issued paychecks! This led to the OPM issuing yet another statement, quietly stripping the ‘voluntary action’ sentence, with Musk sending a second email demand. Needless to say, it remains a chaotic and unclear situation across all departments with the State Department still advising employees not to respond. Philosopher and essayist George Santayana is quoted as saying, “Perhaps the universe is nothing but an equilibrium of idiocies.” But we could narrow it down to a confederacy of dunces, huh?

Twenty-one staff members of the US DOGE Service (formerly the US Digital Service) submitted a letter of resignation, citing the destruction of the federal government, which follows on the heels of department employees who were laid off earlier. The letter addressed to White House Chief of Staff Susie Wiles and posted publicly, reads, “We will not use our skills as technologists to compromise core government systems, jeopardize Americans’ sensitive data, or dismantle critical public services. We will not lend our expertise to carry out or legitimize DOGE’s actions. As civil servants, we remained committed throughout the Presidential Transition to delivering better government services through technology and stood ready to partner with incoming officials. Each of us left senior private sector technology positions to pursue nonpartisan public service. We swore to serve the Constitution across presidential administrations. However, it has become clear that we can no longer honor those commitments at the United State DOGE Service.”

Press Secretary Leavitt revealed last week that a dramatic change is being initiated in the press access for journalists covering President Trump, with the White House press team overseeing the press pool instead of the White House Correspondent’s Association. “Legacy outlets who have participated in the pool for decades will still be allowed to join,” she announced, but the change will bring in ‘new voices.’ “We will continue the rotation of the five major television networks to ensure (‘endure’ might be more apt) the president’s remarks are heard far and wide around this world. We will add additional streaming services which reach different audiences than traditional cable and broadcast,” she clarified. The WHCA’s president, Eugene Daniels responded to this abrupt change, saying, “This move tears at the independence of a free press in the United States. It suggests the government will select the journalists who cover the president. In a free country, leaders must not be able to choose their own press corps.” Daniels revealed that Leavitt and her team didn’t include him and the WHCA in any discussions for the change, claiming that the organization is already expanding into a wide range of outlets as part of the overall pool. Trump, in his pettiness, is still barring the Associated Press over their refusal to acknowledge his executive order by changing their stylebook to read ‘the Gulf of America’ instead of ‘the Gulf of Mexico.’ Weird that Trump shared an AP article on social media in criticizing Zelensky for saying the end to the Russian/Ukraine war is “far away.” Fox News and Newsmax have urged Trump to lift his ban, and a federal judge has declined to order the White House to do so. The WHCA’s annual gala dinner in DC is on schedule, and Trump is surely to skip the event, with the expected stinging barbs being thrown in his direction.

‘Tonight Show’ host Jimmy Fallon mocked the administration’s expropriation of the press pool by saying, “Yep, Trump will now only take questions from Fox News, Foxier News and Foxiest News.” Leavitt explains, “So by deciding which outlets make up the limited press pool on a day-to-day basis, the White House will be restoring power back to the American people who President Trump was elected to serve,” — justifying the reason to allow independent journalists on TikTok to apply for press credentials?

Attorney General Pam Bondi made a big deal of her announcement that the Epstein files would be released, which contain lists of clients and flight logs of passengers flown on his private plane to his private island. After release of the documents, word quickly got around that it was information previously made public — no bombshells! To counter the uproar, Bondi pointed a finger at the FBI, who she blamed for withholding “thousands of pages of documents.” Conspiracy theorists were accusing the Deep State agents for lack of transparency, providing Jimmy Kimmel with fodder for his show’s monologue. “That’s right, the deep state agents are trying to hide it. Well, first the deep state agents need to go through the documents to make sure they dot every ‘i’ and cross out every ‘DJ-T,’ and then they can release the documents,” he offered. Continuing, he said, “You know, the fact that these Looney Tunes keep conveniently forgetting that Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein were good friends is unbelievable.” Reading from a 2002 issue of New York magazine’s profile of Epstein, he said to the audience, “This is a quote from Donald Trump: ‘I’ve known Jeff for 15 years, terrific guy. He’s a lot of fun to be with. It’s even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it — Jeffrey enjoys his social life.'” “And they’re running around with binders,” Kimmel chuckled, as he cited a New York Times report: ‘Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein had a party at Mar-a-Lago, calling it a ‘calendar girl’ competition.'” Kimmel concluded, “It was only two men and 28 disappointed calendar girls — I hope that’s in the binder when it comes out.” We can rest assured that Kash Patel will get to the bottom of this deep state mixup!