GAGGING THE MONA LISA’S SUGAR-DADDY

The GOP, or Repubititanic Party, continues its path of blindly meandering along toward the inevitable implosion behind its self-promoting Orange-tinted leader, who has faced little criticism from his base, and even among those running against him for the presidential nomination of the doomed party. As the Former Guy told Maxine Hughes of Welsh channel S4C in a documentary entitled ‘Trump: Extreme World,’ “You have people that follow rock bands and they listen to the same songs over and over and over. You have people that go to the Mona Lisa. They love the Mona Lisa and they’ll see it hundreds and hundreds of times, and it gets better every time, or to a Broadway play where they will see it 20 times.” Comparing it to his campaign events where he rants against his critics and dog-whistles the crowd, he admits he has few talking points, riffing on the same 20 subjects each time. “You’re talking about the border, you’re talking about the military, you’re talking about low taxes, you’re talking about certain things. I can’t just make new things up because I want to make a speech. I can tell them in different ways and I do sometimes do that, a lot of times. But they just want to hear it again and again.” Along with that Mona Lisa smile, assuredly! Leonardo da Vinci would have grown impatient trying to keep him hushed and immobile, resulting in a work portraying the subject wearing a smile-obscuring gag and handcuffs – not a bad idea over all.

The dozen or so GOP presidential hopefuls have pretty much declined any heady criticisms of Trump, aside from Chris Christie, as they consider the slavish posse still lined up behind the leading contender. Former VP, and invertebrate, Mike Pence, typified this behavior recently on ‘Meet the Press,’ when Chuck Todd soft-balled him about a pardon for Trump should Pence win the presidency. His response, as described by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, as if it were “what Jesus would say if he were the corporate spokesperson for a Fort Wayne-based lunchmeat company trying to get out in front of a listeria outbreak – Pence pounced like a NyQuil-besotted banana slug.” A shocked and frightened Pence said, “Well (Reaganesque), I just think the question is premature. Honestly (Pencesque), Chuck, I’ve pardoned people who were found guilty of a crime.” Todd then asked him what was the bar for a pardon. “Well (ditto), let me say first and foremost, I don’t know why some of my competitors in the Republican primary presume the president (sic) will be found guilty. Look, all we know is what the president (sic) has been accused of in the indictment. We don’t know what his defense is. We don’t know if this will even go to trial. It could be subject to a motion to dismiss. We don’t even know what the verdict will be of the jury.” Spoken as a true vice-presidential wannabe!? Aldous J. writes a reminder to Pence that “he almost met Jesus on January 6 via the hanging squad, and that Jesus probably felt a migraine coming on and didn’t want to deal with a guy who wouldn’t stop asking if it was really safe for him to be alone with the Virgin Mary.” Chuck Todd then asks, “If you were President Biden, would you pardon him right now?” Pence answers, “I think this whole matter is incredibly divisive for the country. And, uh, look, uh, I just think at the end of the day, it is saddening to me that we are now in this moment.” Pen in hand, Pennyfarthing writes, “The correct answer is ‘No,’ I hope he rots in prison!” He visualizes both Pence and Christie on the debate stage with the other one- to two-dozen contenders, when the moderator asks, “Hands up if at any point Donald Trump tried to kill you,” which is bound to result in at least two raised hands, and maybe more. Who knows? Agent Orange keeps a lot of secrets, and recovery is still going on. For most of us who are tired of hearing this incessant burbling, we can echo musical artist Jimi Hendrix and cry, “‘Scuse me while I kiss the sky.” And Pence, using the mondegreen, “‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy.”

The ex-prez surely didn’t feel he was posing for a portrait when he faced off with Fox’s Bret Baier for an interview that was decidedly not in friendly territory, as historically has been the case. From the get-go, Baier pummeled him with curve balls, sliders and 98-mph fast balls that had him frowning and fidgeting red-faced, and on the edge of his seat awaiting the seventh inning stretch, or for a rain-delay to be called. Chuck Todd, and CNN’s Kaitlan Collins, who contributed to that network’s meltdown a couple of weeks ago, could learn a thing or two from Baier, an experienced reporter. Trump steamrolled Collins from his confused and jumbled memory, even with the softball questions she asked, as if he were being confronted with heavy accusations. The Don’s uneasiness showed his fear, being thrown off-balance by Baier’s insistence upon complete answers, not letting Trump’s attempts at dismissing questions derail his well-prepared interview. There was no hesitation as Baier interrupted, corrected, and challenged his interviewee, well-armed with quotes, sound clips, and charts with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back, even having to defend Fox after Trump said, “I’m no great fan of Fox,” Baier pushing right back with, “You’re sitting here.” DOJ Special Prosecutor Jack Smith and associates gleaned a goldmine of prosecutorial evidence against Trump, thanks to Baier’s persistence. Poor Donny-boy…he really could have used his usual hooting and hollering crowd, cheering on his lies and bullying, not having to deal with this Fox-y individual who knows where all the bones are buried, where the skeletons are closeted. An amusing piece by Mia Mercado in The New Yorker about ‘bones,’ says, “A skeleton is a gathering of bones. Bones will typically get together for festive events such as Halloween, pirate-themed parties, and morbid Christmas. A gathering of skeletons is known as ‘catacombs’ in France. In the United States, it is known as C-SPAN.” Add Fox News to your list, Maria!

The US Extreme Court has just about wrapped up the summer session with the big decisions on student debt relief, affirmative action, same-sex wedding sites, ‘independent state legislature’ theory, and a few others to finish out the traditional June-ending docket. Doubtless, they are attempting to get it all wrapped up to allow Justices Alito and Thomas to pack their bags in time to take off on whatever trips their sponsors have arranged for them, with fingers crossed that they get the docket for the next session lined up before the recess.  It’s unlikely that Chief Justice John Roberts will require any of the justices to remain after those decisions are handed down, which would allow him to give them a refresher course on ethics and allowable summer activities to document on their return…maybe some handouts as they go whooping and hollering out the front door, eh J.R.? Clarence Thomas seems to be the record holder on scored gifts and trips, though billionaire Paul Singer’s big catch, Justice Alito, may be closing that gap with his well-publicized fishing trip, and a newly disclosed trip to Rome, where he spoke at a ‘summit,’ courtesy of Notre Dame University’s Religious Liberty Initiative. Ending a fifty-year standing of a woman’s right to bodily autonomy deserves more than a stay in a D.C. area Hilton, so why not a hotel overlooking the Roman Forum? Stephanie Barclay, director of R.L.I., has confirmed that the cost of sending Samuel and wife, Martha, was covered by the ‘religious liberty’ group. Alito says there isn’t a conflict of interest here because the group has a number of components and he was not invited to speak by the ‘clinic‘ that may have business before the Supreme Court. So, the ‘clinic‘ involvement might have been a problem for him, but not the organization of which it is a part…ka-ching! Nothing to see here, folks, no need for disclosure!

What a group! Thomas and his sugar-daddy, Harlan Crow, who has funded numerous luxury trips for Clarence and his wife, college tuition for a nephew, home-purchase and free rent for mom, and secret payments of tens of thousands of bucks to wife and insurrectionist, Ginni, through an arrangement with Leonard Leo. Brett Kavanaugh had a court debut with 83 ethics complaints and sexual assault allegations that keep cropping up. Neil Gorsuch conveniently sold property after his court confirmation, to a law firm with business before the court. Amy Coney Barrett, former Notre Dame (where have we heard that name before?) professor, after being seated on the high court, sold her home to a recently hired prof who was assuming leadership at the Religious Liberty Initiative (aha!), making her the third court member to make money from property sales with influential conservative people, or to those connected to legal advocacy groups writing for the court. Drip, drip, drip. And, chief honcho Roberts has that “what,…you lookin’ at me?” expression, as his wife rakes in millions by recruiting attorneys for firms with business before the court. None of the justices deemed it necessary to recuse themselves as notable cases were tried! The generosity of billionaires contributed greatly to assembling the super majority group, and the financial incentives put before them dissuades the justices from deviating from the doctrinaire ideologues and the conservative positions they push. Existing charts have demonstrated the trend followed by jurists as they get older toward a more liberal bias, leading these wealthy puppet masters to counter that anomaly with their largesse, codes of ethics be damned! What next? Overturning state and local gun regulations? Gutting voting rights protections? Attacking climate-change decisions? Striking down Roe v….oh yeah, too late for ALL that! Our citizens are now realizing that our Supreme Court isn’t a body that issues earnest and principled rulings, though we may at times disagree; the court is now seen as the American right-winger’s rigidly partisan and unprincipled political weapon, likely to remain significantly unchanged for another forty years. Conservatives are quick to rush into the fray, defending the court for being attacked and intimidated by left-wingers. Take Senator Tom Cotton’s standing up for Justice Alito’s Alaska trip funded by Paul Singer…Federal Elections Commission records show Cotton’s election campaign received close to $20K from a Paul Singer and family. The man clearly knows where to put his money…Singerin’ a song, side by side!

On a recent Amicus podcast on Slate, with Dahlia Lithwick and Mark Stern, they discussed the Supremes‘ ethics breaches, identifying the pioneer of such behavior as Justice Antonin Scalia, who was a frequenter of fishing trips, or stays at hunting lodges and resorts on his wealthy acquaintances’ tabs. Ah yes, Paul Singer was one of his patrons. Exemplar Scalia set the tone for both Thomas and Alito, who have no use for following hard and fast ethics rules. Lithwick says, “I don’t care where Sam Alito goes on vacation. I don’t care that Harlan Crow builds a petting zoo for Clarence Thomas in the backyard. What I care about is that there is a machine that seats justices at the court, and keeps other justices off the court, and that billions of dollars flood into this machine.” She asks Stern if he thinks some of the justices are moderating some of their decisions because of the stench from the bad publicity. He answers, “I don’t want to say the court has moderated. This court remains extremely conservative on issues the justices care about, like doing away with affirmative action, attacking the administrative state, and enshrining the right to discriminate into the law of religious freedom. And the more that Thomas and Alito look like crooks, there’s going to be a reaction from the other conservatives. They’re going to have the chief justice standing there with his arms wide open saying, ‘Oh, you want an alternative? Well, that’s what I’m here for. I’m John Roberts, and I live for this. You want a narrowly crafted compromise that inches the law to the right? I’m on it. You want a surprise, centrist victory that simply preserves the status quo while making progressives feel good? I can cook that up for you.’ John Roberts knows how to do this. And in times of crisis and uncertainty, that can look a whole lot more appealing than the nihilism offered by Alito and Thomas.”

This just in! Satirist, Andy Borowitz of The New Yorker, reports that the “situation in Russia descended into further uncertainty after Arizona’s Kari Lake stunned geopolitical experts by declaring herself the new leader of the Wagner Group. Speaking from the mercenary force’s new headquarters in Phoenix, AZ, the former anchorwoman claimed that she won leadership of Wagner by a landslide. She warned Russian state media against questioning her claim to the Wagner helm. ‘I will be your worst frickin’ nightmare,’ she said. Wagner troops expressed surprise at Lake’s sudden elevation and reservations about whether she would be an improvement over their former leader, Yevgeny Prigozhin. ‘She seems really mean,’ one said.”