In an opening monologue last week, Michael Kosta on The Daily Show summed up the first seventy-five days of the Trump administration coup with, “The second Trump administration is off to a roaring start — if you don’t count the economy, inflation, rampant corruption, cyberbullying of allied nations, and we’re all gonna die of measles.” Addressing Trump’s so-called ‘Liberation Day‘ tariffs, Kosta responded to the president’s Truth Social all-caps post (“THE OPERATION IS OVER! THE PATIENT LIVED, AND IS HEALING. THE PROGNOSIS IS THAT THE PATIENT WILL BE FAR STRONGER, BIGGER, BETTER, AND MORE RESILIENT THAN EVER BEFORE. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!!!”), with a deadpanning, “Boy, I feel so much better now.” He advised viewers not to panic about economists’ warnings of a tariff-caused global recession by assuring them that “Trump’s habit of speaking soothing words of comfort in times of need” would see them through the tough times. “Always reassuring when the surgeon comes out screaming at the top his lungs, ‘THE PATIENT IF FINE, EVERYTHING IS GOING GREAT. DOES ANYBODY HAVE A MOP?”, he said, mimicking Trump’s all-caps post. He added, “The thing is, the patient didn’t need major surgery. We just needed a teeth cleaning, keep it clean and shiny. No one wants to wake up from heart surgery to their dental hygienist shouting, ‘I THINK HE’S GOING TO LIVE!'”

Trump kicked off his televised ‘Liberation Day‘ tariffs fiasco with a board charting the list winners and losers among the global community, “like a Hollywood game show host,” wrote David Gardner on The Daily Beast. Gardner described the president as being spray-tanned with lacquered hair, gesticulating and bragging as he unveiled the numbers matching his international contestants in his trade revolution. His catchphrase was, “Let’s make America Wealthy Again,” as world leaders looked on in disbelief, and as the stock market started its tumble, with the dollar sliding worldwide. The tariff percentages ranged from a benign ten percent up to a mind-boggling forty-nine percent, which fell onto Cambodia which charges the US ninety-seven percent according to The Don. Trump’s complaint about “foreign scavengers ripping us off for years” revealed that he was being “kind” by charging the “nations that treat us badly” only about half what they supposedly charge us. What a considerate guy, eh? With his game show host smile he added, “We’re going to start being smart, and we’re going to start being very wealthy again.” He is piling onto China a thirty-four percent tariff on top of the twenty percent already being charged Beijing — claiming that President Xi Jinping should be satisfied since they charge us sixty-seven percent, says the chart-bearing Teletubby. One notable omission on the president’s chart: Russia, along with Cuba, North Korea and Belarus. White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt explained that those exclusions are because existing economic sanctions already imposed “preclude any meaningful trade.” Watch this space!

Objections to the glut of tariffs quickly came to the fore, with Ross Gerber of Gerber Kawasaki Wealth and Investment Management calling the action “a disaster of idiocy,” and even Republican senators Rand Paul and John Kennedy expressing concern at this major escalation in a global trade war which will soon impact American consumers. Gerber, a major investor in Tesla, being interviewed by CNN’s Laura Coates, could only foresee gloom and doom as he sought a silver lining in the long term. His short term worries aren’t causing him to panic, but he cautions, “We went from almost an ideal market environment over the last year or two, to now complete and utter sort of destruction of the system of trade that we’ve had for a very long time, that has benefitted America greatly with lower prices! That’s the whole reason that this is set up the way it is.” Even Musk’s expected exit from the White House would not be enough to turn Tesla’s fortunes toward positive territory, according to Gerber — Tesla needs a new face to regain stability. His anger at Musk has little to do with his DOGE organization’s haphazard slashing of government agencies, but with his constant delivery of insulting comments toward people, and should he step away from his government position, Gerber doubts that Musk’s attention would be refocused on autos, which has seen neglect for years, but on xAI and other artificial intelligence projects. “It’s not a great time to buy the stock,” he advises. Musk’s only addition to the Tesla lineup since buying the company, has been the Cybertruck which seems to be in constant recall, especially since the glued-on parts are falling off the vehicles as they are driven, so most now view the brand as broken and unfixable.

Because Trump included two rocky and remote islands near Antarctica inhabited only by penguins and seals, with ten percent tariffs, he has provided us with some hilarity in spite of his ego-driven disaster. Heard and McDonald islands are not countries, though he may have mistakenly thought McDonald Island was the home of the Big Mac, from which he might have extracted favors in subsequent negotiations. MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow noted that it takes two weeks by sea to get there from Australia — no scheduled airlines and no airports for that quick weekend getaway! She points out that active volcanoes pose a problem, adding, “Those volcanoes, penguins and seals will never menace the American economy again, as they have in the past, by flooding us with their cheap exports of what? Like, fresh air, cool breezes, a waft of eau de penguin, I don’t know. What do they send us? Are you tired of winning, America? Can you just feel the practical economic benefits that MAGA leadership is bringing to us at last? Isn’t it a relief?” The mockery continued with former Representative Tom Malinowski of New Jersey posting, “The Heard Island and McDonald penguins have been taking advantage of us for too long — it’s about time we stood up to them!”

Economists have sounded the alarm over the past few weeks, that any new tariffs will spike prices for domestic consumer products, with import businesses taking on those costs, but then charging customers higher prices to make up for the import costs. Democratic strategist James Carville said, “There’s no policy behind it. It’s just Trump’s ego playing itself out in public, and I think voters are getting very, very apprehensive about this. These policies will hurt a ton of people with new financial burdens you can’t imagine.” He commented that even the Wall Street Journal’s editorial board, some of the most conservative people in the country, shared that concern. Following Trump’s big announcement was a cratering of the stock market the day after, as fears of global economic slowdown brought the worst day of loss since the outbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic. The Dow Jones Industrial Average closed down four percent, losing almost 1700 points, with the S&P 500 down 4.8 percent and the Nasdaq down six percent, marking new lows for Wall Street after months of speculation about Trump’s trade agenda. In his analysis, Michael Arone of State Street Global Advisors said, “The Trump administration may be playing a game of chicken with trading partners, but market participants aren’t willing to wait around for the results. Instead, investors are selling first and asking questions later.”

Trump is quoted as saying, “The markets are going to boom, the stock is going to boom, the country is going to boom. And the rest of the world wants to see if there’s any way they can make a deal.” In the meantime the markets are going ‘BOOM‘ or as Stephen Colbert terms it: “the traditional sound when everything stays intact.” The administration’s officials have diverse messages regarding any deal-making, with Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick offering conflicting guidance stressing no “backing off” on tariffs, but that deals could be a possibility. Lutnick said, “This stuff has got to stop. America has got to stop being exploited, and you’re going to see America prosper. And then, and only then, will Donald Trump make a deal with each country when they’ve really, really changed their ways. That’s not ‘back off.’ That is, let the dealmaker make his deals when, and only if, these countries change everything about themselves, which I doubt they will.”

The Associated Press called Trump’s sweeping new tariffs “a historic tax hike that could push global order to a breaking point,” about which John Stoehr of The Editorial Board asks, “Why are we still wondering what Trump voters want? He promised. He delivered. What’s the mystery? I ask, because our discourse seems to be invested in the idea that his supporters don’t really want this, and I just don’t mean his hardcore supporters. Resolving this tension is important. The Democrats believe if they can show Trump is going to make things more expensive, they can get them to support Democrats in the midterms. But conventional wisdom also asks us to do something we should not do…treat Trump supporters as if they didn’t understand what they were getting into…treating them like children, that they can’t be responsible for what they did. We shouldn’t do that. Treat them as adults who have THEIR way of understanding tariffs…look at it this way — Trump supporters are going to trust him no matter how incoherent, no matter how dumb…the dumber and more incoherent, the more they trust. His choices trigger reactions, forcing people to choose between those who say tariffs are a tax, or trusting Trump who says it’s a tax cut. Trump has swept them up in his story of a cosmic battle between good and evil, in which the chosen people have been taken advantage of by ‘globalists,’ trying to replace them with foreigners who are ‘poisoning the blood’ of the US, leading toward destruction. The story can be told in a way that appeals to everyone, even nonwhites — the challenge isn’t just hardcore supporters. It’s swing voters, too. Liberation requires personal sacrifice and ‘short term pain.’ So if supporters end up recognizing that policies are impoverishing them, they almost certainly will not attribute their suffering to him — they will blame whomever he tells them to, hence his use of emergency powers usually reserved for wartime. Suffering Trump supporters will bind themselves closely to the president, using this as proof of patriotism and devotion to the cause of justice, with their savior the only one who can relieve them of their condition.”

Stoehr concludes with his observation that the last election was about money — not in the way most may think. “The economy was booming, inflation was down, wages were up, unemployment had rarely been lower — Joe Biden really did grow the economy…almost everyone prospered. But that may have been the problem, because he did more than any president to expand the economic pie to include all those who are usually left behind, especially Black people — Whites feel something is wrong, that something is being taken from them, someone is cheating them, despite their own prosperity. It’s white-power’s zero sum — if America includes ‘them,’ it excludes ‘us.’ Democrats’ beliefs that Trump voters can be won over with economic politics in everyone’s interest won’t cut it. They want economic policies for them, not everyone. And if tariffs end up hurting them, they take comfort in knowing Black people are hurting more. These tariffs are the biggest tax increase of our lifetimes. But that’s what they wanted. He promised. He delivered. No mystery.” Reactions on social media brought one tweet with a Rodney Dangerfieldesque response: “Just got off the phone with my financial advisor; he just told me my 401k is now a 400k.” Another posted a stock heat map, nearly all red, with a superimposed image of VP JD Vance asking, “Have you even said thank you once?”

Trump insists that his ‘Liberation Day‘ tariffs levied around the world will be borne by his victimized nations and not American buyers, but skeptics within his own MAGA gang are not so sure. Republican senators Rand Paul, Lisa Murkowski, Mitch McConnell, and Susan Collins joined with Democrats in voting against the emergency powers Trump is using to impose a 25% tariff against Canada. And while Senator John Kennedy did not join them, he made known his concerns in a Newsmax interview with anchor Rob Schmitt, saying, “What the president is saying, is if you want to sell stuff to Americans, move your business to America and hire Americans and contribute to our economy, don’t just sell stuff. In the long run, he’s right. But in the long run, we’re all dead.” He added that he’s heard both favorable and disastrous assessments from economists, and even “late-night psychic hotlines” are more accurate in their predictions, as he slammed blind supporters of the policy. “It may not lead to inflation this time. Am I predicting that it will or won’t? No. I’m going to say it again. We’re in uncharted waters and we don’t know. And anybody who tries to tell that they know what the short-term impact is going to be is just lying. Either that or they’re selling deep stupid,” he concluded. The Daily Show’s Michael Kosta says, “We’re basically punishing OTHER countries for selling us stuff that WE want.”

On The Late Show, host Stephen Colbert asked, “Is everyone feeling liberated?” Because…yeah. Today was the first day of trading on Wall Street since Trump slathered our country in honey and staked it down next to a fire ant hill. So, worst day for our economy since COVID. Just a little reminder: this time, he’s the disease. One bit of good news coming out of all this: it’s all pretty solid proof that there is no deep state, because if there was, they would have stopped this. But if they do exist, I just want to say to the cabal of financial and governmental elites who pull all the strings behind the scenes, maybe put a pause on your ‘5G chip JFK Jr adrenochrome chemtrail orgy’ and jump in here, ’cause we’re dying.”

Conservative podcaster Ben Shapiro pulled a 180 on Trump after calling his tariffs “probably unconstitutional” and “pretty crazy” as he broke ranks with the MAGA boss after supporting, fundraising, and voting for the president. He told his seven million YouTube subscribers of his ‘Ben Shapiro Show,’ that “the president’s vision of international trade is mistaken” and that Trump’s belief that the country is getting swindled by trade deficits is completely false. “We are punishing countries that have a low tariff rate with us.” Shapiro says the president’s math is “all wrong,” that his numbers come from the trade deficit which has “nothing to do” with tariff rates. He noted that Madagascar’s tariff percentage was ridiculously high, but “so what?” if there’s a trade deficit. “The idea that we have to chisel out of the people of Madagascar extra dollars from American products or we are getting screwed by the great and powerful nation of Madagascar makes zero sense,” he asserts. Railing against Trump’s basis for MAGA, he said the tariffs are based on “false notions about the American economy” that the nation is failing economically — “this is a myth propagated by both parties.” Shapiro has no desire to support the MAGA-strong wish to return to the 1980s. “America does not suck and has not sucked for several decades, economically,” disagreeing with the notion that the country has been “hollowed out” by de-industrialization and is no longer manufacturing. Scoffing at having a Ford factory job a la 1955, in a non-air conditioned workplace while riveting metal all day is not an ideal job. No thanks! He claims the upper middle class has grown and wages are up, contrary to Trump’s argument that international trade is destroying that strata of workers. “I can name you a period of American history where there was a fairly large surplus in America’s balance of trade: the entire Great Depression,” he offers.

A viral tweet from @frogs4girls asks readers what the coming economic downturn should be called: “So what are we calling this one? Just ‘Great Depression 2’? ‘Greater Depression’? Any suggestions? Anybody?” Respondents contributed: ‘The Yuge Depression,’ ‘The Greatest Depression,’ ‘The Bigly Depression,’ ‘The Great Deux-Pression,’ ‘The Most Beautiful Depression You’ve Ever Seen Believe Me,’ ‘2 Depressed 2 Be Blessed,’ ‘Great DEIpression,’ and the ‘Great Depression 2: Electric Boogaloo.’ Another contributor suggested we call the period ‘Groceries,’ a word Trump seems to have a fascination with, calling it a beautiful, descriptive word, an “old-fashioned” term that he used a lot in his campaign last year. Social media critics mocked his word salad over the word: “Groceries, that unspoken word lost in the sands of time,” or “This is your king, MAGA. This is your Daddy.” Another posted: “Here’s an old-fashioned term that we don’t use enough. It’s schmuck!” JD Vance will be pretending in 2028 that he never met this guy.

President Trump’s all-caps response to the negativity brought on by his tariff escapade, precipitated the stock market’s reaction, prompting Senator Chuck Schumer to call it the “dumbest” recession ever. Usually loyal Republicans who criticized the Trump plan caused the president to attempt to ease everyone’s minds in a most bizarre way: his message of ‘hope’ was a cryptic five-word, all-caps post on Truth Social: “ONLY THE WEAK WILL FAIL!” Sam Barlow on BlueSky posted that those words are his favorite of Jesus‘ teachings from the book of Matthew. A post on X responded that is an apt response from one who has taken six businesses into bankruptcy — including a casino of all things! One X poster wrote: “Seems like what Trump really means is, ‘ONLY THE POOR WILL FAIL!’ because average Americans are perpetually impacted more than anyone on Earth. So, if you’re struggling, when Trump’s tariffs make life worse, it’s your fault.”