A MOTION TO VACATE THE COURTROOM FOR COKES AND HAMBERDERS
Reporter Olivia Beavers of Politico posted a report last week that a sub-group of the House Freedom Caucus activated its Floor Action Response Team (F.A.R.T.) to thwart any attempts by associates of Speaker Mike Johnson from making moves to diminish the Caucus’ power…this coming prior to the key votes on foreign aid to Israel, Taiwan, and Ukraine. Calls for Johnson’s removal from his Speaker’s position in the debate leading up to the aid vote was precipitated by Marjorie Taylor Greene who has since been joined by a handful of other disgruntled House members who are decidedly in the minority at this point. Of the $95 billion, $61billion will go to Kyiv, $9 billion of which is in the form of “forgivable loans.” Kentucky’s Representative, Thomas Massie, one of the ‘F.A.R.T.’ supporters has asked Johnson to resign, as his team works to monitor the chamber to block any sudden rule changes by the GOP leadership which might lead to a reduction in power of the Freedom Caucus through raising the vote threshold governing removal of a House Speaker. Johnson has said he would attempt no changes to the ‘motion to vacate’ rule, as did Kevin McCarthy when he held that post…but his concession is likely to be in vain as his position is very tenuous. Author and former House Republican, Denver Riggleman, responded to Beavers’ post, “Actually, I have a source that tells me it’s the ‘Wrong Every Time Floor Action Response Team,’ a loud and slippery crew. Beware.” A New Yorker, ‘BrooklynDad_Defiant,’ posted, “House Republicans have just formed a Floor Action Response Team in order to fend off silent but deadly attempts to curb their influence. Total clown show, folks.” MSNBC contributor, Charlie Sykes, added his post: “Beyond parody.”

Finding no humor in the House’s new team formation will be those sitting in the courtroom of Judge Juan Merchan, where one flatulent sleepyhead, Donald J. Trump, is being tried for falsifying business records to conceal hush-money payments to Stormy Daniels as part of his strategy to influence voters in the 2016 presidential election. The former president has appeared to be dozing off several times during the trial, but Jimmy Kimmel is convinced that his attorneys are tranquilizing him to knock back his outbursts, with Judge Merchan having to caution the defense team on one occasion to instruct their client to remain quiet as prospective jurors were being questioned. Stephen Colbert couldn’t hold back with his comments, saying, “Yesterday, Trump fell asleep during the proceedings. He took a little ‘white power’ nap. But today he was sharp, focused but he fell asleep again. And in a totally unrelated story, there’s a national Adderall shortage. No relation. Trump must have snoozed for awhile because the court sketch artist had time to draw him. Well, I think we have a new mascot for Celestial Seasonings: Sleepy Crime Tea.” Social media jumped on the bandwagon with new nicknames: ‘Sleepy Don’ and ‘Don Snoreleone’…where’s the MyPillow guy when he’s really needed? JoJoFromJerz posts: “Honestly, let him sleep. Wheel him into a fake Oval Office on the back nine of Trump National Golf Course, tell him he’s president, hand him a Diet Coke and a “hamberder,” play a nature video, quietly close the door, and walk away.”

Defendant Trump dozed off intermittently during the first two days of his criminal trial, and though this could land him in prison, ending his political ambitions, he doesn’t show an interest, or understand what’s occurring, a sign of worsening senility? Day number three saw him pulling out his cell phone to check messages, prompting an attorney to stop him, which earned him a glaring look of annoyance. Trump will only continue to show his defiance, since it will have a magical ending for him in his thinking, but this immature behavior only points to mental incompetence. The Don is not one to sit around for eight hours at a time on public view, a very boring sentence for the candidate who does a rally speech, then disappears to tally the money flowing into his coffers as the highlight of his day. Unable to focus or stay awake, even forgetting that a trial is in progress, is what most clinical observers would expect from a patient with severe dementia, or is it too much posting of his rants on Truth Social until the early hours?

Bocha Blue posts on The Palmer Report that he sees something terribly wrong with Trump’s hair. At first, he thought it could only be his imagination, but a Morning Joe segment validated his concern about Trump’s appearance…verbal gaffes aside. Trump’s vanity is well known, always wanting to look ‘spiffy,’ but now DJT’s hair is beginning to “look worse than Matt Gaetz’s.” The Morning Joe panel calls the usual hair color ‘Carrot Orange.’ Blue now terms it as a cross of “orange algae coupled with bits of baby food…our insurrectionist has invented a new color.” He says Trump has taken his hair color to new heights, but hasn’t noticed how horrible it looks…looking harsh, an unbecoming color that makes him look old. The only advantage being that this newly named “Algae Orange‘ “might match his orange prison jumpsuit.” Porn star, Stormy Daniels, in the recent documentary entitled, ‘Stormy,’ tells Seth Rogan about a conversation she once had with Trump regarding his hair. He told her about a Samson-and-Delilah-like dream from which he concluded that his power rested in his hair, and losing it would mean a loss of power and stature, a superstition he still observes quite obviously.

Speaking of mental incompetence, Aldous J. Pennyfarthing writes that Trump’s first campaign ruined everyone’s mental health for a full decade, while claiming he hired “only the best people” for his administration…which translates to hiring the best in his estimation, only to fire them almost immediately. Or, keeping them around long enough for them to realize the president was a dangerous affront to democracy, resulting in a departure and becoming unqualified “losers” to their former boss. Of course, as everyone knows by now, Trump’s greatest weaknesses are compassion and generosity of spirit, so he simple couldn’t help himself at hiring awful, unqualified losers who were begging him for a job. Pennyfarthing says, “Unfortunately, when you make over your party to appeal strictly to lowlifes, your applicant pool becomes pretty shallow, and the dose of chlorine needed to disinfect it could melt the eyeballs out of every skull within a 15-mile radius.”

Which brings up the subject of GOP vetting as revealed by a HuffPost article: A DJT county campaign chair in New Hampshire lost his job as a police officer after threatening to kill colleagues in a shooting spree, to murder the department chief and rape the chief’s wife, simply as retaliation for his suspension over a relationship with a high school girl…Trump’s kind of guy? Ten years later, this guy, Jonathan Stone, currently a second-term state rep, was picked as Trump’s Sullivan County chair in June 2023, because he gifted Trump an inscribed AR-15 assault rifle at a 2016 campaign stop. Aldous J. comments, “Just a few bad apples? Well, no…sadly, this is kind of a pattern. Ever since Sarah Palin made addlepated-ignorance great again, Republicans have been trying to extra hard to separate the wheat from the chaff, but unfortunately, they tend to throw out both the wheat and the chaff, keeping Herschel Walker instead. In other words, when it comes to vetting candidates, employees, and county campaign chairs, Republicans are simply awful, and arguably getting awful-er. It should have been clear from the outset that Walker was a terrible candidate, but apparently no one knew his Georgia Senate campaign wasn’t the only abortion he’d been financing.”

Continuing, we can consider “New York Representative George Santos, the biggest vetting fail in American political history…if you disregard Trump himself. The Jew-ISH congressman was a font of scandals and controversies, all of which slipped under the GOP’s glowing red Eye of Sauron. And, we can’t forget the current Hitler-quoting Lt. Governor of North Carolina and gubernatorial hopeful, Mark Robinson, who never saw a forced birth he didn’t like. Robinson and wife, Yolanda, have filed for bankruptcy three times since 1998, and failed to file income taxes for years 1998 to 2002. Next up is Montana’s GOP senatorial candidate, Tim Sheehy, who lied to a national park ranger about the origin of a bullet wound in his arm, claiming it was a war wound. Sheehy was fined in 2015 for discharging a gun in Glacier National Park after a hospital reported his injury to law enforcement, about which he claimed his Colt .45 had accidentally discharged when it fell to the ground. Later, he told the Washington Post he sustained the wound in Afghanistan as a Navy Seal in 2012, but failed to report it in fears that it may have come from ‘friendly fire’ that would spark an investigation of his platoon. He deserves the Purple Chickenheart medal.”

It has now come to light that Texas Representative Ronny Jackson (former White House doctor who concluded that Trump could live to age 200, with a better diet, or by eating Kentucky Fried Chicken & Donuts Sandwiches, acknowledged to be a superfood chock-full of antioxidants) allegedly over-prescribed meds during his DC tenure with Trump. Sleeping/wakefulness medications were freely handed out, precipitating a power struggle with another physician, resulting in decimated morale in the Medical Unit. Jackson is also facing allegations that he drank on the job, but evidently that didn’t stop his boss from nominating him to head the Department of Veterans Affairs, from which he withdrew after charges of inadequate vetting for the position. CNN is suggesting a pattern of deliberate negligence, one example being that Representative John Ratcliffe in 2019 withdrew from consideration as Trump’s director of national intelligence over concerns that he was dangerously unqualified, having exaggerated portions of his résumé. So, what does Trump do? According to Pennyfarthing, “In 2020, Trump would renominate Ratcliffe – who remained dangerously unqualified – and he skated through on a party-line vote.”

It didn’t matter to Trump that his administration had failed to perform even a cursory vetting of Ratcliffe, or any nominee, and that he made announcements without the participation of any adults…besides, that kind of work was best left up to the enemy of the people…the press! Trump explained to a reporter that he likes to disclose a name to journalists, who then do background checks, saving “a lot of money” for the government, as they uncover embarrassing details about the nominee, who then slinks away into hiding. Pennyfarthing concludes, “Of course, the half-assed vetting goes way, way back to the OG GOP embarrassment, Sarah Palin, who announced shortly after becoming John McCain’s running mate that her unwed teenage daughter was pregnant, très gauche to 2000s-era Republicans! The McCain camp had also somehow failed to discover before it was too late that her head was stuffed with newspapers – ALL OF THEM! So what does that tell us? That the party that elevated Donald Trump is lazy, irredeemable, and a really horrible judge of character? Well, yeah. But also: They don’t seem to care much about any of that. After all, what are they going to do? Hire sane, qualified people? If they did that, they wouldn’t be Republicans, now would they?”

And, just for clarification…as Trump recently stated in a New Hampshire speech, “Which is incapable of salvin’ even the swollest, smallest problem. We are an institute in a powerful death penalty. We will put this on. And they calmly walk to us see, and ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. They’ve only got 17 seconds to figure this whole thing out. Bomp. Okay. Missile launch, psheem, pfoom.” Sounds akin to the anonymous haiku: “Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don’t make sense. Refrigerator.” We have just over six months to arrive at our own sense of clarity.