BORSCHT BELT SCHTICK, DONNY TWO DOLLS, CLOWN SHOW FASCISM

We’ve known for some time that Senator, and former football coach, Tommy Tuberville of Alabama is lost somewhere in a cornfield maze of his own making, as apparently he doesn’t know which state his resides within. Kyle Whitmire of AL.com writes that he may not meet the state’s residency requirements as he plans to run for the governorship, which has stricter prerequisites than that of a senate officeholder. The senator is accused of living in Florida since 2023, and voting records bolster these suspicions argues Whitmire, who points out that a seven year state residency is necessary. If Tuberville is a true Alabama resident, his income tax filings should be evidence, but no disclosure has been forthcoming, as he maintains that his wife’s homestead exemption in Auburn, as far back as 2018, is proof enough of his residency despite the fact that the senator’s name is absent from the deed. Election records show that both spouses voted in Florida in late 2018. Senate records from 2023 reveal that Tuberville made several trips to the Florida panhandle, and Whitmire challenges him to show his utility bills — “where he flushes his toilet probably tells us more than his homestead exemption,” he contends. Seems ripe for a political challenger to take him to court on the issue.

Representative Jasmine Crockett of Texas is still hot on the case for designating Marjorie Taylor Greene the dumbest member of Congress for spending more time currying favor with Donald Trump and the MAGA crowd, than she has spent working for the people of Georgia. The MAGA majority has seated her on powerful committees, within which she’s more concerned with picking fights, then going on social media to secure her cable news appearances — no way to solve the country’s problems. In the same vein, Andy Borowitz takes on Senator John Kennedy of Louisiana, asking if there exists a more grating assclown, which he doubts. Andy wrote in his book ‘Profiles in Ignorance: How America’s Politicians Got Dumb and Dumber’ that over the past fifty years, mass media have rewarded politicians who can entertain over those who can think — designating it the ‘Age of Ignorance,’ appropriately. He splits this into three stages: Ridicule, Acceptance, and Celebration. In the Ridicule stage, ignorance resulted in career-ending mockery, spurring dumb politicians to fake intelligence. The Acceptance stage sees ignorance modified into congenial, a sign that the politician was authentic, down-to-earth, and a somewhat normal person — allowing dumb politicians to be as dumb as they really are. The Celebration stage, today’s condition, allows ignorance to take precedence over knowledge: wearing a dunce hat is elevated over expertise. Being ill-informed is the criterion, forcing smart politicians to fake dumbness. Borowitz puts into this highly-educated stable of moronic politicians the likes of Ron DeSantis, Ted Cruz, Josh Hawley, Elise Stefanik, and the aforementioned John Kennedy, with space for an ever-expanding membership.

Last week, the ‘sage of Omaha,’ Warren Buffett announced his upcoming retirement from Berkshire Hathaway, proclaiming, “Trade should not be a weapon,” as he pointed to President Trump’s current war. Steve Schmidt wrote in his ‘The Warning’ blog that it is Trump’s weapon in a declared world war, one that he is losing. Schmidt argues that this has come to pass despite all of Trump’s previous warnings, and it is now too late to stop the looming devastation of the American economy, with no place to run, no place to hide. The catastrophe resulting from the war of madness and aggression could have been stopped, but that time has slipped by us, allowing the zealots and sycophants to lie to their dictator with words allowing him to embark on his supposed strategy — no plan beyond the execution, no vision on how it ends. In Schmidt’s estimation it was launched by Trump’s ego, drafted by incompetents, and executed by nihilists, echoing Steve Bannon’s 2017 wish to “bring it all crashing down.” Schmidt believes that millions in Trump’s cult of malice are about to have their dependency broken, Jonestown style, a la the Jim Jones People’s Temple massacre in Guyana. However, his favorite strategist, thinker and leader who was as profoundly dumb as Donald Trump is General George Armstrong Custer, who Schmidt characterizes as ‘American political dumb, DOGE dumb.’ Custer was brave — better than his contemporary peers who possess none of his virtues — but graduated last in his West Point class, though he exhibited such fearlessness as the youngest Union general in the Civil War, he took his cavalry experience West to fight the Lakota. One story has him separating from his men to chase a buffalo into hostile territory, drawing his revolver to shoot the beast, only to miss and blow his horse’s brains out. Lost and stranded alone, he was fortunate to be happened upon by a few of his contingent’s scouts, a perfect parallel for Trump and his tariffs, minus the rescue element, temporary though it may have been for the general and his trusting troops.

Schmidt says, “The chances that Trump was a secret genius, and that Trump Derangement Syndrome were a real thing have all been disproven by events, and reduced to absolute zero over the first 100 days of his term. There are no manufacturing plants returning, no jobs coming back, no golden age, no nothing. America will be weaker, poorer and isolated. All of it because of Donald Trump, his henchmen and women, and the easily conned and deeply ignorant American voter. What comes next is catastrophe. Waves of meanness, capriciousness, cruelty, insanity and nonsense spewed forth from Trump and his family, while the overwhelming majority of the American media was the last to figure out that Trump meant every word of his toxic Borscht Belt schtick. Trump was feted and celebrated by America’s media mandarins, who saw a golden calf, where most saw an orange buffoon. With a few exceptions, Trump steamrolled everyone in front of him with the same ease that he emasculated Jeb, Little Marco and Ted Cruz — ambitious men with no core, only great ambitions and fragile egos, being susceptible prey for Trump. All of it begs some questions: how stupid is this movement and how much dumber can it get? This country is in crisis because the concept of democracy is in danger. It is endangered because of the lassitude of the citizenry, the malice of a fascist movement, and a dishonest billion-dollar media industry that revels in conflict. At the same time, it is repulsed by the truth because it is too contentious for liars who demand coddling and accommodation in the name of ‘balance’ and ‘fairness.’ The American media isn’t a stakeholder in the epic fight underway for American democracy besides being billion-dollar economic players. That’s the only ‘balance’ they are interested in. All the democracy talk is marketing schtick — they don’t mean a word. The problem is that the fascists mean everything they say. That’s the truth! They have conviction, and mostly, the opposition does not. It is what makes this tragedy. It’s a tragedy that should not be, but is. Just like Donald’s trade war.” The bigger the fool, the more they are loved.

In a Cabinet meeting last week, President Trump admitted that his foolish tariffs will lead to empty store shelves across the nation, but that’s just fine because China made a trillion dollars selling us stuff during Biden’s administration — we don’t need any more material goods. “Well, maybe the children will have two dolls instead of 30 dolls, and maybe the two dolls will cost a couple of bucks more than they would normally,” The Don said. Lawrence O’Donnell on MSNBC’s ‘The Last Word’ commented that he sounded like a gangster, giving him the name ‘Donny Two Dolls’ as a possible character on ‘The Sopranos’ TV series. The meeting which resembled a North Korean People’s Committee meeting which pours praise onto Dear Leader Kim Jong Il, had a round-robin of comments by Trump’s cabinet members as they told Dear President how fabulous he is. So, like good Communist Kim, Trump is telling Americans that they must suffer and go without for the greater good, so that he may have his way on trade policy, not to mention the hideous, distasteful, and costly gilded bawdy house décor that he is implementing in the White House at taxpayer expense. We can celebrate that in his first 100 days the president has made economic recessions great again. A Mike Luckovich cartoon shows that Trumpty Dumpty has fallen from a brick wall, is lying on the ground with a cracked shell, long red necktie all askew, and All The King’s Men looking on with praise: “Great fall, sir!” and “Way to stick the landing!”

In line with Steve Schmidt’s contention that media outlets today are kowtowing to the Trump administration, Scott Pelley of CBS’ 60 Minutes made an on-air criticism of its corporate owner, Paramount Global, a couple of weeks ago. This unusual step was prompted by the resignation of Bill Owens, a CBS News veteran of almost 40 years, 26 of which were spent as head of 60 Minutes. Pelley says the sudden turn of events was hard on Bill, and difficult for the staff who admired him greatly for his insistence on accuracy and fairness in their coverage. However, Paramount Global had stepped in to start supervising news content in subtle ways, with Owens feeling that he had lost the independence that honest journalism requires. The reason lies with Dear Leader Trump who not only has sued CBS News for $20 billion over a ‘fake news’ story during the 2024 presidential campaign, but Trump appointed FCC Chairman, Brendan Carr, will be overseeing approval of Paramount’s $8 billion sale to Skydance Media, a $2.4 billion windfall for Shari Redstone’s family holding company, controller of Paramount. Shari Redstone looks to pocket over $500 million personally, with the administration’s approval. She has recused herself from deliberations in the Trump/CBS lawsuit, even as she has signaled her desire for a settlement with Trump, which is likely to result in a payment to The Don, and probably an admission of wrongdoing. Legal experts have said that Trump’s suit is without merit, foreseeing an easy CBS victory, but Paramount is favoring the white flag in view of the pending sale’s approval — a mob shakedown by Donny Two Dolls and his Luca Brasi, Brendan Carr. Mr. Carr has also intimated that the sale is sketchy unless the company ends its DEI efforts, telling Bloomberg, “Any businesses that are looking for FCC approval, I would encourage them to get busy ending any sort of their invidious forms of DEI discrimination.” Paramount has sent a staff memo noting the company would move to eliminate its DEI goals, but Carr will see to it that the FCC’s review is thorough. Elon and crew are standing by to be of service!

Cliff Schecter writes on Blue Amp that Trump is once again fantasizing about tanks rumbling down the streets of DC, not to stop a coup or a domestic terror attack, but to feel like a boy — a real boy! “I know he doesn’t get the concept of democracy — much like tariffs, multiplication, multi-syllabic words, vegetables, a fitting suit or running a business that doesn’t go arse-up to name a few — so I’ll try to explain it to him: Let’s learn a little history, Donny you mega-jingoistic cod-piece. Our founders feared standing armies, because they knew a permanent military was a military to be used — often, just because it was there. And here you are.” Schecter notes that “the National Guard wasn’t even created until 1903. Militias carried a lot of the load (ya know, those ‘well-regulated ones for whom the Second Amendment was actually intended? As opposed to your next-door neighbor Billy Bob a-fixin’ to git hisself 47 AR-15s, just because.” He goes on to say that even between World Wars I and II, our military was badly underfunded because that fear remained in our DNA. Dwight Eisenhower, upon leaving the presidency in 1961, infamously warned about the ‘military industrial complex’. But, as Hafiz Rashid in The New Republic laments, “Donald Trump may finally get his long-desired military parade, citing an unnamed source that he has chosen June 14 which is the 250th anniversary of the US Army, Flag Day, and only coincidentally his own 79th birthday. The four-mile procession would go from the Pentagon in Arlington to the White House.” Trump’s yen for such a grand parade goes back to his first term after seeing a French parade in 2017, with his desire to top that display. Pushback by both the military and the DC government put that one to bed, with cost estimates to the two entities around $92 million and $21 million, respectively. An angry Trump abandoned the idea, accusing the DC politicians of a ‘holdup’ over costs. Then, Mayor Muriel Bowser said, “I finally got through to the reality star in the White House with the realities of parades, events, and demonstrations in Trump America.” Now, Mr. Trump holds the cards with his overhaul of the military leadership, plus placement of top lawyers in all branches of the military, with the DC pols cowering out of fear that Trump will follow through on threats to take over the local government. The president has set up a federal task force on DC crime fighting that does not include a single local official, indicating that he will continue to interfere with operations within the city — to include his massively wasteful parade to sate his ego, spending millions of local and federal dollars despite his claims of waste, fraud and abuse eliminations. As the recently departed comedian and actor, Ruth Buzzi, once said, “Scientists say the universe is made up entirely of neurons, protons and electrons. They seem to have missed morons.” Rest in peace, Ruth.

“In 100 days, Trump has invented something new: Clown-Show Fascism,” says Michael Tomasky in his piece in The New Republic. “The administration is a serious threat to democracy. They’re also laughably incompetent. But the result is no laughing matter.” Tomasky reminds us that the president’s April 2 ‘Liberation Day,’ when he blew up the markets with his tariffs announcement, was actually the second Liberation Day declaration — the first being announced in his January 20 inauguration speech, when he said, “That is why each day under our administration of American patriots, we will be working to meet every crisis with dignity and power and strength. We will move with purpose and speed to bring back hope, prosperity, safety, and peach for citizens of every race, religion, color, and creed. For American citizens, January 20, 2025, is Liberation Day.” The author asks, “How is that working out? There is much to say about these 100 days. The odor of fascism is unmistakeable — and entirely intentional. The bullying of universities and law firms; the probably illegal firings of those 18 inspectors general; the ghastly executive order instructing the Justice Department to investigate two US citizens for expressing their political views; the purposeful lawlessness of so many actions, designed to force showdown after showdown at what Trump assumes will be a pliant Supreme Court; the daily inventions of reality peddled by Karoline Leavitt, Cabinet officials, and not least, Trump himself.”

Tomaksy says we should think about the average Americans, who are having a hard time. He poses another key line from the inaugural address: “I will direct all members of my Cabinet to marshal the vast powers at their disposal to defeat what was record inflation and rapidly bring down costs and prices.” Tomasky’s response is, “Gee! That doesn’t seem to have happened. Inflation is down a bit, largely because energy prices have fallen.” He points out that price decreases are a function of overproduction, that electric vehicle production in China has an effect, but gives Trump credit for our fears of a recession. Worry that Trump’s tariff war will spark inflation is seen in polling, with 71% believing that is our fate — even 47% of Republicans in agreement. To the many variants of fascism — Nazism being only one — there is Italian fascismo, Spain’s Francoism, Ukraine’s Banderism, South Korea’s Ilminism, plus neofascism, crypto-fascism and Islamofascism, to which Tomasky adds clown-show fascism. He describes his addition as “a regime marked simultaneously by hubristic and defiant assaults on the democratic and constitutional order on the one hand, on the other, a nearly laughable incompetence in just about every other area of the regime’s activity. Trump’s constant about-faces and walk-backs on tariffs have been an international embarrassment. Elon Musk’s DOGE has fired federal workers willy-nilly only to turn around and rehire many after the Musketeers realized they weren’t deep-state bloodsuckers and the work they did was kind of essential, after all — you know, like the people who tend the country’s nuclear weapons stockpile.” Tomasky summarizes that it can be hilarious to watch, but consequences are no laughing matter, and not how it’s supposed to work in a democracy — only 1300+ days to go!

David Litt writes on his Substack blog, Word Salad!, that if our founders had foreseen a Donald Trump presidency, they would have included pictures in the Declaration of Independence for him to understand it. In his faltering attempt to explain what the document means to him, Trump tells Terry Moran in the ABC News interview, “Well, it means exactly what it says, it’s a declaration. A declaration of unity and love and respect, and it means a lot. And it’s something very special to our country.” The commander-in-chief’s answer, had it come from a beauty pageant contestant, would have disqualified her with no chance of wearing a finalist’s crown. Litt is concerned that Trump’s brain worms have brain worms, causing him to give his blah, blah, blah answer. Asking ChatGPT to estimate the grade level of a student who gave such an answer to the question, Litt says the AI chatbot estimated ‘roughly 6th to 8th grade.’ Litt’s purpose in bringing up the Declaration of Independence “is not that Trump hasn’t read it — it’s that the rest of us ought to, and those who have read it need to re-read it with an eye toward understanding how to talk about dealing with this generation’s mad king.” The debate among Democrats rages passive-aggressively about what to focus on — attacks on the rule of law, or kitchen-table issues, which is dragging the president’s approval ratings down? Democrat Team Rule of Law says tariffs come and go, but damage to our democracy will be irreversible; Democrat Team Kitchen Table says stopping Trump raises the need to win elections, and that the electorate cares more about their pocketbooks than the rule of law. To the two teams, Litt says, “It’s my pleasure to scold everybody and say both sides are wrong. Drawing a distinction between the two issues would be like telling a pack-a-day smoker to differentiate between ‘nicotine addiction’ and ‘shortness of breath,’ — talking about one without the other rings hollow. Choosing between democracy and the economy is, in and of itself, the wrong choice. This is all one big issue. We have to treat it that way.”